One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter by Scaachi Koul
Endlessly quotable, tirelessly honest, thoroughly edifying, and delightfully witty: if these are the things you want in a summer read, One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is your beach book. Scaachi Koul of Buzzfeed fame (don’t worry, no listicles here) fills these pages with essays that are at once timeless and timely.
If you don’t know Koul from Buzzfeed, you might have heard of her after she became the queen of Twitter, then abdicated after Milo Yiannopoulos sent his goons after her. This incident is the subject of perhaps the most fascinating essay in the book, “Mute.” Following death threats and concerns about doxxing, she left social media for two weeks. How does someone who trolls the trolls (with Good Will Hunting quotes, no less) end up going on internet vacation for a fortnight? What does it feel like to have some of the least sane people in North America hurling racist invective at you and threatening to harm your relatives? Koul eloquently describes both the experience and how she moved on from it.
Most of us (hopefully) will never be chased off a social media platform by puerile xenophobes, but other essays describe events familiar to nearly everyone. From questioning the unusual traditions around weddings (five-day Indian weddings in Koul’s case) to grappling with parental mortality and the way friendships change as we age, essays like “A Good Egg” combine relatable anecdotes with Koul’s particular perspective and incisive wit. As the Canadian-born daughter of Kashmiri immigrants, her split cultural identity informs the writing even when she details experiences almost every woman will recognize. Another standout essay, “Size Me Up,” exemplifies the author’s special talent for not only asking, “What’s the worst that could happen?” but walking you through her experience as she lives out the answer. Shadeism and public humiliation are seldom so entertaining.
Then there are essays like “Hunting Season,” which every student should probably be given on the first day of high school. Koul pulls aside the curtain on rape culture to reveal, with raw honesty and startling specificity, precisely where it begins. While many think pieces have been written on this topic, this is perhaps the most pointed and direct one yet, exposing how commonplace the problem is while retaining the distinctive voice and personality that typifies Koul’s writing. More relatable than straight journalism but more polished and credible than a random Medium article, this format and style is perhaps the ideal one for tackling this kind of issue.
The title of this book is a bit of a trick–a portion of it appears on the cover crossed out with a thick black marker, shifting it to “One Day This Will Matter.” Ultimately, the topics Koul writes about do matter, and they matter right now. They will continue to be pertinent issues in the culture at large until it’s no longer remarkable that somebody has written a book like this; until a woman can put these words in print and not have thousands of people clamoring to see her jobless, raped, or murdered.
One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter by Scaachi Koul (Picador |9781250121028 | May 2, 2017)